Respect Should Flow Both Ways

By: Angela K.  Chambers, Ph.D.

 

We are living in a different time, and with changing times comes an opportunity—and responsibility—to change the way we think, communicate, and relate to one another.

 Some things passed down from generation to generation are beautiful and worthy of preservation: values, faith, perseverance, family traditions, and wisdom. Yet there are also some things we must pause, reevaluate, and thoughtfully examine.

One of those areas is respect.

Before anyone misunderstands my perspective, hear me fully. I absolutely believe in respecting our elders. I believe those who have walked before us carry experiences, lessons, and wisdom that younger generations can learn from. As a Believer, I also believe we are called to walk in love. Yet if we are honest, love can sometimes be challenging because our understanding is shaped by our life experiences, our upbringing, and the values we were taught within our families.

But perhaps this generation is inviting us to look at respect differently.

Respect should not be a one-way street. 

Respect and love should extend to all people regardless of age. Elders deserve respect, but younger generations deserve respect as well. With age often comes greater life experience, and with greater experience should also come greater understanding, patience, and care in how we speak to others.

Moving forward, I believe we should embrace this truth: I will respect you, and I also expect respect in return.

Being older does not automatically give anyone permission to speak harshly, belittle, or wound another person. There is a manner and method to everything. If advice is being offered as wisdom, warning, guidance, or inspiration, the delivery matters just as much as the message itself.

You cannot pour negativity into someone—calling them names, degrading them, or speaking from anger—and then expect those words to produce respect, growth, or healing. Words carry weight. They can build confidence or plant seeds of pain and self-doubt.

Correction given in love has the power to transform. Correction given through humiliation often leaves scars.

Personally, I have experienced moments where elders spoke words to me that were mean, hurtful, or unkind. I chose to smile and walk away. But everyone does not respond the same way. Some people internalize the hurt. Some react impulsively. Some return the same energy they received—and sometimes multiply it. What began as words can quickly become something far greater than anyone intended.

This is a new day. A new season.

We know more, and because we know more, we can do better.

I challenge families to have honest conversations—conversations that many generations before us never had the opportunity or freedom to have. Many of our elders carried tremendous burdens: racism, hardship, survival, and societal pressures.

Some communication styles and behaviors were inherited and passed down because they were once considered necessary or normal.

But inherited does not always mean healthy.

We can honor our past without repeating every pattern from it.

Let us choose understanding over assumption, love over harshness, and wisdom over pride. Let us create a culture where respect flows both ways—where every generation feels heard, valued, and loved.

Because true respect is not about age.

It is about humanity.